Instead of a Halloween wedding – let’s have a Roseanne Halloween.

Yeah, I’m not writing a post on a Halloween wedding. I think they are great, I love a Nightmare before Christmas and I admire and respect those who have the gusto and the gumption and the huztpa to have a Halloween themed wedding.
In lieu of writing a post that there are 75 other bloggers writing at the exact same time, here is a collection of Roseanne Halloween episodes, dedicated to my Maid of Honour, Julie. Youuuu are welcome.

Superstitions Part 2: Daddy Issues and my lack there of.

You recall my recent post about Jenn Grabenstetter’s amazering article about 8 wedding traditions a.k.a. crazy-ass superstitions. Jenn’s next little diddy: Papa gives away his baby.

Jenn sez…

Giving Away the Bride
Remember that “Women’s Studies” class you considered taking in college? Allow us to summarize what you would have learned: All of our society’s gender issues stem from the fact that fathers once used their daughters as currency to a) pay off a debt to a wealthier land owner, b) symbolize a sacrificial, monetary peace offering to an opposing tribe or c) buy their way into a higher social strata. So next time you tear up watching a beaming father walk his little girl down the aisle, remember that it’s just a tiny, barbaric little hold over from the days when daughters were nothing but dollar signs to daddy dearest. And that veil she’s wearing? Yeah, that was so the groom wouldn’t know if he was stuck with an uggo until it was time to kiss the bride and too late to back out on the transaction. (There is also some superstitious B.S. about warding off evil spirits, but we think you’ll agree that hiding a busted grill from the husband-to-be is a more practical purpose.)

I am in SUCH LUCK. My parent’s are not marrying me off to VISA, in order to pay off my own fuggin bill (which at this point, they probably have every right to). Although, I bet a lot of girls gladly trade themselves for a clean bill of credit health.

As far as a sacrifice to an opposing tribe – why would the Canucks need to make a peace offering to the Flames? Shouldn’t the Flames be begging for mercy – it’s more like the Captain is a peace offering to the Canucks, not the other way around. Annnnd they haven't clarified if they actually want him or not so... things are still up in the air I guess...

As for buying their way into a higher social strata, I’m not sure my parents thought about that…. they might have made a better choice. I could be Mrs. Nenshi next fall instead!!!

Green Weddings: My conscience hurts.

Okay so I am 100% all for green things. However, I can not say that I am yet fully committed to being 100% green in my every day life. It is HARD. I do the little things that some commercials tell me great for the worldwide team effort – turn off ALL the lights and unplug things when I’m not using them, recycling everything short of toilet paper tubes and taking the bus to work *cough*.

So of course I am going to do all I can to make my wedding green but is it selfish that I am not going out of my way to do EVERYTHING green? Am I really doing my part if I think the way every girl thinks? “Yes but it’s my ONE big day” Yes but there are probably 10,000 other brides in Canada having their ONE big day on my big day so that means – 10,000 other girls throwing the environment to the wind and buying aerosol can air fresheners for the bathroom and paper cocktail napkins with their initials on them. UGH. Makes me cringe with guilt. If we say every wedding yeilds an average of 5 additional bags of garbage - okay let's be realistic here - 10 bags of additional garbage x 10,000 weddings = 100,000 extra bags of garbage. CRINGE.
How far can going green go? I will use cloth linens but what if they are not made from recycled fabric? What if the silverware is washed in a non-energy efficient dishwasher? What if piles of food are thrown out, because guests don’t finish their meals? All the favour boxes, all the wrapping paper from the gifts, not to mention the stationary. akslfhasdoifasldh

Makes me think of all that dirty garbage that is always on Toronto streets in their yucky garbage strikes. I see photos and I think to myself – you would think that being put in that type of situation would FORCE people to learn to throw less out and yet people just keep pilling their poopy diapers in parks.

So sometimes I look at all of my coffee filters and all I see are garbage bags at the end of it :( And then I start thinking of that IKEA commercial with the stupid lamp and that my coffee filters are going to be cold and lonely in the dump.

This website helps and doesn’t help. Shows me what I can do. But also shows me what I didn’t do. I better get karma points just for posting this.

Great Green Weddings

Superstitions Part 1: White Wedding Dresses

I found this HILARIOUS article by Jenn Grabenstetter today – it boasts the 8 most common wedding traditions that have held their own and lasted throughout the ages, regardless how out of date and ultimately stupid they are.

Rarely do I find a writer/blogger whom I find funnier than myself – but I have to say that this Jenn girl is mos def invited to my wedding. No jokity. So here is a lil series on my thoughts on her discoveries.
Jenn’s article says:

The White Wedding Dress
Technically, today’s wedding gowns aren’t white. They are “Candlelight,” “Warm Ivory,” “Ecru” or “Frost.” But there was a time when a bride’s wedding attire was simply the best thing in her closet (talk about “off the rack”), and could be any color, even black. To convince her groom that she came from a wealthy family, brides would also pile on layers of fur, silk and velvet, as apparently grooms didn’t care if his wife-to-be reeked of sweaty B.O. as long as she was loaded. It was dear ol’ Queen Victoria (whose reign lasted from 1837-1901) who made white fashionable. She wore a pale gown trimmed in orange blossoms for her 1840 wedding to her first cousin, Prince Albert. Hordes of royal-crazed plebeians immediately began to copy her, which is an astonishing feat considering that People Magazine wasn’t around to publish the Super Exclusive Wedding Photos, or instruct readers on how to Steal Vicki’s Hot Wedding Style.

To prove my family’s wealth to Lowell’s family, I shall adorn myself with the following:

• Any of the brightly coloured wool sweaters my grandma regularly knits, complete with the toques and leg warmers to match
• White tube and/or sweat socks – because that’s how we Woods’ roll
• Runners with good, thick soles because where we are from – it rains. And there’s no sense in having wet fee
• Purple leather mitts to save my precious hands from the Captain’s country and his chilly winters
• A white UVIC hoodie my brother gave me five or six years ago. The cuffs are tattered yes and there is a tea stain on the front, but it is my favourite
• A plaid Old Navy umbrella that is continually blustered inside out due to it’s poor quality
• Large, silver headphones, plugged in to nothing as to ensure I will not be disturbed.
• My three Coach purses
• My lululemon backpack, original pants (as in lulu’s that were actually MADE in Canada that I got about 7 years ago) and hoodie. The true symbols of trendy Canadian girls.

I have no doubt that this outfit on my wedding day will no doubt impresses the Captain’s parents, Ed and Grace. No doubt at all.

Wedding Planning: The interweb has an app for that.

Have I posted on this already? meh.

I am slowly coming to terms with the idea that planning a wedding is an overwhelming and daunting task for some – lots – of people. That there is a terror in their eyes when you ask about linens matching saucers matching bridesmaid’s bracelets (“… you didn’t know that… really?”) and that hiring a wedding coordinator is sometimes fiscally out of reach.

It’s all doable but you need a place to start. My biggest qualm about wedding planning is no one tells you about the averages. What is the average amount of your budget your spend on catering? What is the average percentage you should spend on flowers? What is the average of RSVP’s that will be returned declined? Give me some averages people!! Good thing for moi – the interweb has a few (hundred) apps for that. Online wedding planning tools are actually, shockingly helpful things.

A few helpful ones I have investigated for you:

• Theknot.com – the old fail safe. My baby. I love theknot.com – for it’s crazy ass brides who won’t get off the forums, for the literally thousands of wedding dresses and how they organized a lot of their idea suggestions by colour. They have a tool for your budget where you enter in your budget and how many guests you’re having and bam! It gives you a rough estimate of what you should be aiming at to budget for each item.
• They also track me every time I show up at the site (Sunday nights at about 7:30pm) – they let me know lots of stuff. 

I GET IT. It’s coming…

• onestopweddingplanner.com – think you’re forgetting something? This site will tell you if you did. I did a little snooping into their tools and holy mother of pearl – it is detailed. There’s calendars, lists, budget tools, registry/invitation/rsvp tracking tools - you name it. This seems to be rather – obsessively complete. Which for some people is exactly what they need.

Example of their photographer’s shot list

• ezweddingplanner.com – I’m not kidding. This site is useful – they have stuff that you can only dream of at 2am on the Tuesday before your wedding, like automatic seating plan software. Need I say more? Yes – they need an update to their website and I need to blog more. Boo hoo. 

Need I be anymore in love that I already am?

Got any more suggestions for online wedding software you’ve used? Comment already.

No big deal but I’m a pretty big deal.

So five of you voted in yesterday’s poll. One was me. And one was for sure was Rob Bob. And one was also clearly Deitra. That leaves us only mystery Anonymous commentor and a voter SO anonymous that they didn't even COMMENT! This is a case for Detective Freckles...  But on another note – 22 people watched my video!!!

So fine – you don’t like the straw poll. But you know, neither did I, really. I noticed that it did something funny to the colours of my blog site. Tomorrow, I get on the road to MAUI for a destination wedding and you can bet your bottom dollar that I’m gonna blog the shizzzo outta this 10 day trip.

What do you want to hear about on my trip to Maui? Besides the fact that I still got sunburned through my spray tan.

Up next on the crafty list – this LACEY tape!!! Meow tell me what I should do with it as I’m about to buy it…

Videoblog! Hair if You Care

People love to weigh in on weddings. Love to offer advice, to tell you cool things they’ve seen and neat things other people do - people love love love to share.

Here’s a chance for you to weigh in on some of my choices. Today’s video blog is about how you think I should wear my hair for my wedding day. No, there is CLEARLY nothing crafty about this except that my broja gave me a new hand held camcorder and so now my videos aren't going to suck as much.

And ALSO check out the quick poll I plopped in at the bottom - this is like a real blog!!

Obv – thoughts welcomed and encouraged. Post pics too! I would love to see them.

BMizzo’s: My Out of Town Bridesmaid

Lots of stuff about weddings are touchy – who gets invited, where they sit, family members, etiquette, food allergies, wedding dates in relation to other people’s wedding dates ect and beyond.

When I break it all down  it seems that it all goes back to one point – everyone wants to feel special. Even if it your eighth cousin removed – everyone wants to feel special at your wedding. They want to feel like they are a part of that particular community, not just a guest. Not just a seat number, not just another plated meal. People want to come, celebrate and create a bond.

But doesn’t it seem backwards? On your wedding day – you bust your butt to make everyone else feel special? In some ways – yes it is backwards. But on your wedding day, you don’t need people to help make you feel special, you are special that day.

So share your special. Share your day. Share your happiness.

One of my bridesmaid, Andrea, is an OOT (Out of Towner) and I am for her wedding too. Andy is a nurse who sees the funny side of nursing, thank rod. Sometimes, I get worried that Andy doesn’t feel connected enough to the wedding – she doesn’t feel like a part of the community. The girls and I, most def, invite her to everything, email her on everything. And when I was back home, she and I went wedding dress shopping.
But we all  know it’s hard – long distance BMizzo-ing can not be easy. You want to be a support and do all this stuff for and with your bride buttttt the commute makes that impossible.

And then everyone once in a while – at some point in the middle of the night – Andy has usually just cleaned poop out of someone’s toilet bowl. And I get a text reminds me she doesn’t need me to make her feel special – she feels my special. We share special.

Hey babe… it’s me, Zac Efron :) Hehehe, no really, its Andy. I miss u. Its 430 in the morning and I’m working nights and all I can think about is ur wedding! Miss u. I luvva youa!
            

How Embarrassing.

 

Okay – it’s only been about two weeks since I’ve written a blog post. You know when you haven’t done something and then all of the sudden, you’re almost too  nervous to acknowledge it?!?

I haven’t even looked at the blog site – I can’t bear to see evidence that I have been neglecting it.

However I have two rather excellent reasons for not blogging lately.

1. ArtsVote Calgary. I am an active volunteer with this non-partisan group that encourages political candidates in the upcoming civic election to have a strong and sustainable arts platform. And that is taking up a LOT of time. Check out this YouTube Video of the FlashMob! we did last Friday :)

 

2. The Calgary Stampede Queen and Princesses, of which I am an ACTIVE volunteer, we crowned our new Trio on Sunday. Yay for Jenna, Stephanie and Whitney! So excited :) That was five weeks of really intense work for the girls – we whittled it down from 16 hopefuls to 3 beauties! I was going to attach a video but Stampede had rules on YouTube and it is too complicated to do it otherwise. So just visit the FB page, kk?

Stampede Queen and Princesses